How's that for a title? It is really true. Let me tell you about it. I was in Germany in 1955-1956 as a part of the Second Armored Division. This Division was organized by the famous General Patton, during World War II. He was it's first commander, though not for very long, for he would be promoted to a larger assignment. Patton's mystique still hung over our Division. We had many war pennants waving from our Division flag. Patton had fondly named the Division,"Hell On Wheels".
We were having the Division rifle matches with the M1 rifle. The man who won would receive a trip back to the states to participate in the huge match at Camp Perry, Ohio. I really wanted to go. By noon we had fired at 100, 200, 300 yards. I was leading all firers! The man nearest me was Sgt. Stafford, a Master Sergent, and really good marksman. We were friends. Since the match was taking place at his base Sergent Stafford invited me to have lunch with him at his house. His wife was overseas with him. I was surprised but delighted. She had a delicious, home-cooked meal. I hadn't had one since leaving Arkansas! It was wonderful. I ate until I was about to pop. Time ran out and we hurried back to the firing range. Nothing left but the 500 yard targets. If I could do well I would be champion of Patton's famed Division, and be on my way to the United States for a break! We fired from the prone position. As I lay there to begin my firing it became quickly apparent that I couldn't hold the rifle as still as I should. My heart was pumping and my stomach was full. I would take a breath and hold it before I fired but the body would not be still. A bulls-eye at 500 yards is small. There were no scopes, only an open sight.
When I finished my score was not good. I dropped from first place to fourth. No trip back to the states! The winner? Sergent Stafford! This wily old veteran of many matches had eaten lightly at lunch.He had taken me home and fattened me for the kill! His aim was accurate and he taught this young officer a lesson. I had eaten myself right out of the championship. I would be assigned the position of coaching our Division team. Sergent Stafford turned down the trip to Ohio and fired on the team I coached. We won all our matches and were Seventh Army champs.
Did you ever hear,"he ate himself out of house and home"? I don't know exactly what that means. I do know what it means to eat onseself out of a rifle championship. Solomon wrote: "Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up; a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress." One of those four fit me perfectly that day long past.