I will NOT be running for President during the next election! I know that is a great disappointment to you, but I simply am not eligible. I never really knew that until the ado about whether or not our President has a legitimate Birth Certificate.
Not only do I NOT have a legitimate birth certificate, I have no other kind. This wasn't discovered until several years ago when I needed a passport to travel to Israel. I contacted my state of birth, Oklahoma, and they had no record of my being born. LeFlore County, my county of birth, had no record. Now I am getting a bit concerned. Maybe I really am an outer- space alien, as some have suggested. I had twice served in the military, served on a jury, received a couple of degrees, and gotten married, all without proof of birth. Finally the powers that be accepted a record dug out of the archives of Fort Smith Public Schools showing I attended first grade at Cavanaugh, and on the records it stated my birth date and place. That was accompanied with a copy of family births my Mother had written in front of a family Bible. Everett Dale Pogue was born June 13, 1932, at Cameron, Oklahoma.
Technically that is incorrect. I was born at a place called Liberty Hill. There is no store there, only a little church called the Liberty Hill Baptist Church. The nearest town is Cameron. It had, and has, a single store. The train used to stop there. Farther down the highway is the County Seat town of Poteau.
If I could run for President, which I can't, which party standard would I run under? None of the existing ones, for sure! I would create a new Party. That is permissable. It is also a sure guarantee one will not be elected. What would my platform be? I think I would want a movable one of oak that I could take from town to town. It would be a tall platform, placing me well above the crowds of people. How do I feel about taxes? I like taxes but since I think I was born in Oklahoma, I would have the Oklahoma/Taxes game in Tulsa each year. How do I plan to solve the energy crisis? That is an easy one. I would see to it that all the hot air in Washington and Austin would be conserved and pressurized. Cannisters would attach to our vehicles and propel us, instead of fossil fuel. Fossil fuel is hard on engines. Regular is much better, but needs to be leaded. Fossils clog up the head gaskets.
Who would be my running mate? That's a tough one. Normally, I would choose Ann, but she can't run anymore. She can still move pretty fast, however. I definitely want my running mate to be a woman. I oppose two men being on the same ticket as running mates. I know that is old fashioned and out of step with the times, but you have to have something for the press to feature for a controversy. Give them a good one, I say. No birth certificate is not enough.
There you have it, dear reader. Another dream squashed. Time is running out for my fifteen- minutes of fame. Guess I'll have to write a book.